Cicero: would put multi-paragraph rants without page breaks and piss everyone off
Catullus: would run one of those arty blogs that periodically startles you with hardcore gay porn on your dash
Vergil: would have a successful ongoing webcomic or blog and would constantly reblog and be reblogged by Horace
Horace: would post a ton of Instagram photos of wine and houses in the countryside and would constantly reblog and be reblogged by Vergil
Pliny the Elder: would post a bunch of photos of flowers, nature, and astronomical facts, and would die while attempting to liveblog the Vesuvius eruption
Lucretius: would be a nightblogger who would always post stuff like “what if when we die we become atoms and float away in the wind? Like you could be inhaling and exhaling your dead ancestors right now!”
Ovid: Would post a mixture of porn and reblogs of nature and portrait photos and would ultimately engage in massive flame wars and get banned for violating the Terms of Service
If Ancient Greeks had Tumblrs
Plato would have an RPG blog, blogging as Socrates, and it would be one of those ones that’s practically all responses to asks, but the asks would be written by other RPG blogs that he was also running.
(Socrates would not be on Tumblr, he would be on Twitter, and would be more interested in stirring up drama over controversial issues than defending any one position himself.)
Thales would have a photo blog full of pictures of water: waterfalls, rivers, the sea. Heraclitus would sometimes reblog the river ones.
Heraclitus - total night-blogger. Reblogged by just about everyone, but for some reason no one ever remembers to reblog as text, so as you scroll down your feed all you ever see are fragments from linked posts.
Pythagoras - Posts a lot of gifs of cool natural phenomena followed by the comment: ‘MATHS!’. LOTS of followers, but tells a lot of in jokes you don’t really get if you haven’t been with him from the beginning.
Homer - just gets reblogged EVERYWHERE, frequently without a link to the source. Frequently accused of reposting stuff that’s actually his own work someone else has stolen.
Sophocles - very popular, writes a lot of fanfic. Into incest kinks. Big in Game of Thrones fandom.
Aristotle - follows Plato. Massive following extending onto other social networking platforms. Always a bit Serious. You will not find kittens being adorably incompetent here. Lot of meta about what blogging SHOULD be for.
Herodotus - lots of really interesting posts on history, the kind of stuff that really makes you go ‘huh, that’s cool’… not always particularly well researched.